Jesus said in Matthew 5:24 that if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Reconciliation is relevant to God hence we have Jesus Christ as our saviour. Jesus’ life exemplifies the approach we need to in order to settle conflicts and disputes prayerfully in accordance with scripture.
Adopt the spirit of forgiveness
Conflicts exist where there is no forgiveness; and where there is no forgiveness, there is no God. Forgiveness must not be limited to only those we love but our enemies and persecutors as well and at all times no matter the gravity of injury. Those without forgiveness are not able to settle disputes or conflicts with another. In order to forgive us, God ordained Jesus to shed his innocent blood for us so why can we not also forgive. Hebrews 9:22 says without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins. God resolved or conflict with him through forgiveness so we must resolve our conflicts with the same.
Colossians 3:13 says forbear one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Mark 11:25 says and whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Matthew 6:12 says and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Luke 6:37 says judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven. We judge and condemn if we fail to forgive one another which makes the path to settle conflicts very difficult or impossible. Forgiveness heals wounds of the spirit and brings joy and contentment.
Show respect to one another
Conflicts arise when we consider ourselves better or more important than others, sometimes unknown to the other. This is why we feel our pride has been wounded unjustly. However in the eyes of God, we are not superior to each other at all. Rather we are all the same and created in the image of God, Genesis 1:26-27. Further, Acts 10:15 says what God has cleansed, let no man call unclean. If we look down on others we disrespect them as God’s image and we cannot settle disputes with those we disrespect.
We forget with short memory that length of periods or the seasons; days or nights; death or life; judgments or not are not subject to us but God. Therefore, 1 Peter 2:17 says honour all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honour the Emperor (our leaders). Philippians 2:3 also says do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Pride has no place in conflict settlement. Matthew 23:12 says whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. We respect God by the way we show respect to others.
Proverbs 11:2 says when pride comes, then comes disgrace; but with the humble is wisdom. Paul used the body to illustrate the relevance of all created by God. In 1 Corinthians 12:24-27 the said God has so composed the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior part, that there may be no discord in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If we show care to inferior members, conflict will be a thing of the past. To God, those who we despise may rather be pleasing to him on account of righteousness. Before God, we are all equal and shall face the same judge who is Christ the Lord.
Adopt the spirit of truth
Lies and untruths will always inflame conflicts because they undermine confidence or erode trust. Good and lasting relationships are built on trust. Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit to lead us in truth. John 15:26 says but when the Counselor comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness to me. John 8:32 says you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. John 2:33; 17:3 says God is true. It is with truth that conflicts must be settled. Matthew 5:37 says let your yes be yes, and your no be no.
If Jesus represents the truth, then truth must be the pivot in all conflict settlements. Jesus said in John 14:6 that I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to Father, but by me. We cannot reach the Father in battles of conflict or disputes without the truth. We dishonor God and Christ Jesus with deceit, dishonesty or treachery. Ungodliness is to achieve worldly favours, but the bible says the soul that sins shall die, Ezekiel 3:20. Jesus is waiting for our response if we want death or life.
Adopt an attitude of love
We cannot settle any matter without love. It is not the physical appearance that matters but the spiritual because God judges us from the heart. 1 John 4:20 says if any one says, I love God and hate his brother, he is a liar, for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. John 3:16 says for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. God gave us his best in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us, Romans 5:8. We can also show love for the sake of unity because of Christ Jesus who bled and died for us in love and selfless humility.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 explains what love is. It says love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never ends. 1 John 3:10 also says whoever does not love his brother is not of God. 1 John 4:16 says God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. It is further explained in 1 John 4:7 that beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. In effect, we cannot abide in God without love. Some say love is of no value because sometimes people rather return love with evil or painful results.
Jesus never received appreciation for his love but cruelty and humiliating death. Love is unconditional else it ceases to be love. Jesus simply said we must love one another and we must obey so we need divine strength. Whilst some conflicts or disputes in relationships may appear justified to man, they are however not justified before God if they are contrary to love. Hebrews 6:10 says for God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love which you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do. Ephesians 5:2 also says walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Conflicts undermine and betray love. Romans 8:28 says in everything God works for good with those who love him. Show the love of Christ Jesus in all things.
Prayer
Dear Lord God, fill us with divine love and truth that in every situation of conflict we may be useful for your purpose through Christ Jesus our Lord. Where we have fallen short, raise us up by your victorious hand to live up to your expectation by grace. We pray in your holy name, Amen!!
